Unfortunately had a super lazy life model tonight who didn’t throw up a single interesting pose and figured we just wanted to draw her from the same angles for two hours. Oh well, at least now I have lots of leaning poses in my mental storehouse.

Sketchbook doodles from the past week~

Let me introduce you to everything I wanted to be when I was about 10 years old.

Incredible Story Studios was this weird late 90’s/early 2000’s Canadian show that was broadcast on the Australian Disney channel. Most of the episodes were taken up by an original short film idea written by kids, but the bumpers featured this amazing character simply called “Boss”. She always wore a suit, had her hair in curls/styled in a classic glamour kind of way, and spoke in a typical 1940’s New York accent. AND she used a lot of Yiddish/Jewish slang - not to mention her features were physically Jewish too. To me, she was the coolest thing ever. She looked like me, she was in charge and looked damn good in a suit. I still want to dress like this.

Anyway, my point is: this is why it’s so fucking important to have these kinds of people on tv when you’re a kid, or a young adult or even when you’re 30 years old. For 10 year old me, this made me feel like I could be in a role like hers, even if it was sort of rooted in a weird 1940’s Movie Mogul fantasy. Who the fuck cares. She ran a FILM STUDIO. 

Sometimes Disney got everything right.

Feeling damn lucky to live here.

Apologies, but I need to have a bit of a rant.

I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately - more so than I have in a while - and I’m starting to notice a really disturbing and frankly frightening trend. A film I watched last night had several female characters surrounding a main male character. Nothing new. Some of them were older women in their 30s. Some in their 20s. All presented as “attractive” to the main character and therefore the audience. What they had in common: thin, long body types. Big eyes. Tiny noses. Straight hair. The main female character - the girlfriend - was almost presented as a caricature. She was demure, cute. Put up with the antics of the male protagonist. Impossibly beautiful. And in the end, despite sleeping with a host of other women, he marries her.

In almost every movie I have watched lately, the kind of girl that gets the guy or is presented as attractive is so impossibly foreign to me that I almost feel like I should hate myself. Which is absolutely ridiculous - yet how could I or any other girl I know live up to it? All of the men in these movies are so varied in physical nature, in body type, in personality. The women at least are sometimes intelligent, out spoken and have brilliant careers of their own. But they have to be attractive in a wholly feminine and cute way first.

I am finding it more and more frustrating that all we are seeing is a regurgitation of the same woman over and over. She is in the music videos, she is on the album covers hand in hand with the musician, she is on the ads on tv and in the magazines. I’m sure she’s a really nice girl and I think she’s gorgeous too, but we are teaching an entire generation that she’s the only thing they should ever need or want to be. It’s so fucking damaging that I want to scream.

I walked past an ad for a new Nike store today. There were a line of people jogging towards the camera, looking appropriately fierce in their Nike gear. I was pleasantly surprised to see a variation in skin colour. Nice one Nike. And yet every single body type was the same.

You can look at the photos I take of myself and think that I have it pretty good - which I do to an extent. I know I am tall, slim. But I also hated myself up until about two years ago, thought my thighs were a curse because they jiggle and touch and my hips were bigger than my boobs, that my face was too long and I was never going to be “pretty”. I know girls in real life who fit the standard that we’re apparently supposed live up to and I used to constantly compare myself and beat myself up. Eventually I got sick of my own bullshit and decided that fuck, I was going to wear whatever I damn well pleased and work the hell out of the cool things about me like my long legs and big hair.

But I still get insecure as all fuck when that little reminder of that woman pops up.

I’m really angry that we all have to deal with this and nobody is doing anything to stop it. I see other women on tumblr perpetuating it to the point where I’ve had to unfollow some people for catering to this unachievable ideal. It’s not okay and I’m so absolutely bone fuck tired of it.

Thank you thank you thank you m-forty-two !!! You know me way too well. ❤️

Went on a bit of a 1989 kick last night. (Excuse the phone photos, will scan later!)

m-forty-two tagged me to do some questions!

What is your favorite planet and why?

I have absolutely no clue. I’ve never really been into the solar system. But I’ll just go with my favourite Sailor Soldier: Jupiter.

What was your first cell phone? What was its most advanced feature?

Nokia 3315! Oh boy. Black and white screen. I also had a hard case thing for it that was in two halves. It had black cats on it. I was cool. My ringtone was a midi version of Back To The Future.

Do you play any instruments, and if so, which one(s)?

I am hopeless at music apart from appreciating it from afar.

It’s 2006: iPod or Zune?

Ha! I’m trying to remember what I had back then. I had an ipod mini for a split second before our house got robbed and it was stolen. Then I had an ipod shuffle before they had screens.

Which year of school was/is your favorite?

The one where I figured out I could walk off campus and go into the city and watch movies instead of sitting through maths.

What is the weirdest encounter you’ve ever had with a stranger?

Uuuuuuuuuh. I’m not even sure? I feel like I don’t remember encounters enough.

What is a song that will always make you cry? Are they happy or sad tears?

Look I’m just going to be cliche and say Streets of Philadelphia. I haven’t even seen that movie and the song makes me think of Tom Hanks walking around on a cold day and I just want to cry.

How do you feel about your hometown?

Small minded people who I am not very keen to see ever again.

What was the last book you read?

I’m attempting to read Swan’s Way but I am failing miserably. The last book I finished was Keith Haring’s journals and it was honestly one of the best things I’ve ever read.

What is your favorite movie of this year?

I feel like I haven’t seen enough movies this year! I think I’ve only seen Guardians of the Galaxy? 

If you could pick anyone in the world, living or dead, to be stuck in an elevator with, who would it be?

Andy Warhol.

Hey dudes and dudettes, I’m doing a super cool artwork for the inside covers of @curiummagazine as well as a bit of a Q & A. Curium is a local Sydney production for artists and creators and each issue comes with some seriously rad stuff like embossed covers! It would make my day if you could support them and the artists who contribute by helping out with their kick starter -https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/750749584/curium-magazine-edition-one 💖💖💖